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The Book


How To Get Your Lover Back

Successful Strategies For Starting Over (And Making It Better Than It Was Before!)


Over 100,000 sold.  This book has comforted and helped many people.


Your lover is gone.  You’re devastated.  You want him (or her) back.  So go for it, says psychiatrist and believer-in-true-love, Dr. Blase Harris, in his book How To Get Your Lover Back.  A practical guide written for anyone whose lover has walked out the door, whose relationship is on the brink of break-up, or for the person who did the leaving and now regrets it.  How To Get Your Lover Back is designed to assist readers in understanding their own feelings of helplessness, if they should make the effort to get their lover back, and if so, how to do it. 

A psychiatrist in private practice, Dr. Harris devised the techniques he shares in his book in his own relationship.  They worked for him, and now he reveals them in this step-by-step guide for reclaiming lost love.

How To Get Your Lover Back “views romantic love as a natural process that can be understood and mastered,” says Dr. Harris.  “Too often we treat love as pure magic, undecipherable or decipherable only in some far-removed, abstract theory.  Love is so wonderful; we are in such awe of it that we feel we show it disrespect, degrade it or ourselves if we try to analyze and understand it.” 

But, Dr. Harris stresses this is exactly what one must do should he or she truly desire to get a lover back.  The doctor’s cure for heartache includes:


  • The “Should You Get Your Lover Back?” Quiz

  • Three components that can re-trigger the love bond

  • How to analyze your sex life

  • Ways to contact a resistant lover and spend romantic time together, even after it’s all over

  • Do’s and Don’ts about the “Other Woman” or “Other Man”

  • How to stop obsessing and start loving

  • The 18 steps to getting a lover back and keeping him or her forever

How To Get Your Lover Back is also for anyone whose lover is physically still around but appears to be losing interest, or for couples who broke up a long time ago and now want to finally understand why.  Dr. Harris follows up discussion of basic principles and techniques for getting a lover back with several examples drawn from real life experiences, popular works of literature, and from movie scenes the reader will recognize and come to appreciate in a new way.

Dr. Harris believes there is no reason to give up on what was once a happy and healthy relationship, and he’s the first to admit getting a lover back isn't easy to accomplish.  But, by applying his techniques and easy-to-follow advice, there is hope. 

Amazon Reviews

"This book should be retitled because, although it does definitely give very sound advice on how to reconnect the "love-bond," it speaks volumes about how to maintain that bond by being a responsible, caring "adult" in a relationship.  Every paragraph is "golden."  I wish I had read it years ago.  It has opened my eyes to the bad messages I got growing up regarding relationships.  "Loving 100%" is such an obvious, yet elusive concept!  Thank you, Dr. Harris! "      

"The book is actually a guide for realizing the potential of relationships and helps in the decision processes in pursuing, or releasing troubled romances.  I found the techniques in the book to be unbelievably effective in placing myself in a positive position while I evaluated my true needs vs. my selfish wants.  The book provides proactive instructions that helped me determine my own fate in a relationship.  The results were truly amazing and empowered me to deal with the frustration and heartache instead of suffering through it.  It returned control of my feelings to me. "      


"An estranged lover is too often told to "get on with your life" or that "there are other fish in the sea." But of course: we live in a culture where relationships are donned like the latest fashion and then tossed away like a paper cup.  But Dr. Harris sees deeper and more meaningful possibilities. I recommend this book not just to people who are trying to put the pieces back together, but for anyone in any relationship.  His analysis of the love-bond is relevant to all. "      

"The message in this book is broader than for just getting your lover back. The needy behaviors that interfere with real love affect us continuously, in our attitudes and all our relationships. This book provides a nuts and bolts means of breaking out of those ruts, at a time when you're probably pretty open to doing that. Even when it doesn't feel right, & chances are it isn't always going to if you bought this book, following the guidelines in this book can lead you to loving more fully and needing less."

"When my boyfriend left me, I wasted months reading articles about "How to Get Your Ex Back" using selfish techniques such as "no contact," guilt-trips, jealousy, and manipulation. Naturally, none of these worked, because all of the above methods focus on personal neediness and hurt feelings, not the problems that led to the actual breakup. Dr. Harris teaches readers how to be lovers, in the truest sense of the word. His advice is effective because it promotes love, cooperation, and understanding, not manipulation and lies. Ultimately, I would suggest this book to anyone serious about rebuilding their relationship."

"A close friend recommended this book to me when I was going through the worst period of a 20 year relationship.  I don't think I would have been as cool and collected as I was during all that turmoil without this book's advice.  Not that I was all that cool and collected but I was much more so than I would have been had I not read this book several times over.  What can I say?  Great advice that came to me at the perfect time.  I managed to save my 20 year relationship and that was a year ago almost to the day.  If you are having trouble staying together and/or working things out with a lover in a time of emotional crisis... then buy this book and read it over and over.  They say a word to the wise is sufficient."

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